Moe, for better or worse

This blog used to be called "one year in the life of a short fat runner"; then it was called "Am I a runner? you decide." I've decided running isn't the thing I need to talk about'll come up for sure, but it's just one part of me, so I think I'll just call this blog: Moe, for better or worse.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Starting off the new year with a bang....

I can't believe it's 2009. How did this happen?

I was born in the '60s. The '60s! Now it's almost the 20-tens?

This year could hold a lot of promise for me but it, quite literally, started off with a bang. Or at least a bump.

On New Year's Eve, driving home from work in the early afternoon, I got into a car accident. We were in the middle of a snow storm, and while I was driving cautiously and carefully, my tires just could not get traction when the SUV in front of me slowed to a stop unexpectedly. It was weather related and no one was hurt, but our car needs fairly extensive repairs and will be in the shop for another week at least.

Some have pointed out to me that this was the last thing of note to happen to me in 2008, rather than the first thing to happen to me in 2009, but it's left me feeling unsettled and shaken beyond the mere accident.

Is this how 2009 will be? I've had some very good and very bad moments in the last fews years, and at this point, I could really use an uneventful one for a change.

The big 4-0 is no longer approaching, but I don't have to worry about it anymore. (that's like asking the sun not to burn but one can hope, yes?)

My mother's health is stable at the moment. That could change any day...but right now...stable. And she feels better than she has in a long time. That is the biggest blessing of all for her.

I'm still running, and better than I've ever run before. It's easier and more inherent for me now...and best of all, more fun. I have a good coach, but this year, I hope I can ask less of him and draw more strength internally. (That, too, might be like asking the sun not to burn...but I am trying to learn a little more self motivation, self reliance and inner strength.)

I constantly wonder if I'm doing the right things and where I can make changes. I'm probably a little old for some of this reflection and self discovery, but it's never too late to learn and grow...and given that I am very worried about how long I will be healthy and here at all, I need to do all I can now to be a better person to myself and everyone around me.

2008 was definitely a year of changes for me. I've made a lot of new friends who are dear to me and lost a friend or two along the way. Some have drifted more recently for reasons I don't understand and this is very upsetting to me but I'm trying to just move on; I don't think I've done any egregious to make this happen, so time will tell if they will come back to me. I've become close again with my sister which is wonderful. I've had to work hard on my marriage last year and will need to do more work around that this year.

So will 2009 be the year that started with a crash...or the year that started clean of past accidents, stupid mistakes and slip ups? I don't know yet...ask me in a year.

in the meantime, I'll try to keep you posted on how it's looking.


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