Moe, for better or worse

This blog used to be called "one year in the life of a short fat runner"; then it was called "Am I a runner? you decide." I've decided running isn't the thing I need to talk about'll come up for sure, but it's just one part of me, so I think I'll just call this blog: Moe, for better or worse.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

39 and 364 days old

I will be 40 tomorrow.

As one of my friends pointed out to me...I won't be any different tomorrow than I am today. Nothing will change overnight. (He wasn't quite so gracious in his delivery, but his heart was in the right place.)

Still, 40's a big milestone.

40. The start of my 5th decade. (That was the ungracious way my friend explained it to me.)

40. I will be in the Master's group now when I run. My next race will be in a different age group (this is a first for me, since I've only been running for 4 years or so).

40. Mammograms will become a necessity not a suggestion.

40. Old enough to have kids in college...people will wonder whose mom I am, no longer which college I attend.

40. The age you thought of as old when you were a kid. Or 25.

I have a lot of reasons to fear 40, more than many, I suppose. 26 years ago I'd just finished my cancer treatment. I have the scars (physical and emotional) to prove it. I was unable to have children, as the chemo kept me alive but damaged me too. I desperately fear cancer is again in my future and imagine that my time is more limited than most. I don't talk about getting to old age, because I fear I won't.

And yes, I know I shouldn't think this way, and yes, I know I can't predict the future and yes, I know I'm healthy and I exercise and eat fairly well and I'm doing the things I should...but it's just hard.

So bear with me.


Blogger Martin said...

Women are the most beautiful after 40!

July 26, 2008 11:39 AM  
Blogger Rudy Martinez said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

July 26, 2008 1:40 PM  
Blogger Rudy Martinez said...

Agreed, plus ...

I've been past forty for a while now ... it's not the end of the world.

THAT'S going to be much louder!!!

July 26, 2008 1:41 PM  
Anonymous ahimsa said...

Enjoy each day as it comes. And especially enjoy your birthday.

How many times a year do you get to throw a party that celebrates your very existence? Revel in it! And have an extra cupcake for me.

July 26, 2008 2:21 PM  
Blogger kotzebue said...

Maureen dear...

After nearly eight months of being 40 myself, I have to tell you that the anticipation of it was far worse than the actuality of it.

I am by no means used to it, but I didn't suddenly fall over the hill. Yet. You'll like the double takes people will do from now on when you tell them your age.

And hey, next year you'll be 41. And "1" is such a small sounding number. I remember liking 31 much more than 30. I'm hoping that this will be the same. Only better.

Happy Birthday!

July 26, 2008 4:31 PM  
Blogger KP said...


Ungracious would have been pointing out that you are younger than the warning labels on cigarettes, yet older than the musical "Little Shop of Horrors"

July 27, 2008 11:18 AM  
Blogger sauconRunner said...

My mom said 30's were eh and 40's were great. They were her favorite years. I know 30's were better than 20's so I believe we just keep getting better the older we are.

July 28, 2008 10:53 AM  

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