Moe, for better or worse

This blog used to be called "one year in the life of a short fat runner"; then it was called "Am I a runner? you decide." I've decided running isn't the thing I need to talk about'll come up for sure, but it's just one part of me, so I think I'll just call this blog: Moe, for better or worse.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

a first...and then some

I registered with my team today for Reach the Beach.

Age * [40] (Race Day)


I just read a fellow Kickster's Runner of the Day thread and in it he talks about how his advancing years makes his quest for improvement more urgent. I am older than he is and certainly I don't have the talent or motivation he has with regards to running. I will never qualify for Boston (I don't even intend to run a marathon) and I will never see a 6 min mile.

Can I still see improvement though? And is speed the only improvement? As I train to run longer distances and learn to push myself more, I am always amazed at what becomes easier and what becomes harder.

It is easier to get out there and go when I know I can get through at least a couple of miles without too much anguish. It's easier because I know I will feel accomplished when I'm done. It's easier knowing I have friends who support me and people who are proud of me despite my slow times and poor performance.

It's harder now to slow down. I am not even remotely speedy...but my legs pick up time and again and I need to be careful, because I need to cover the distance...not run fast. It is harder to stay positive and not criticize myself for my lack of speed or progress or for walking during a run. It is harder somedays to go because I am tired and weary and my legs are fatigued.

But I go. And I run. I haven't missed a run in something like 4 weeks. My runs are long run is barely a recovery run for my marathoning friends, and my weekly mileage is still less than 15 miles. (That changes next week.) I still struggle on my runs and want to give up sometimes. I am terrified RTB is going to be an exercise in frustration when it's supposed to be fun. I'm particularly worried that I will just fail...that I won't be able to run at all.

But I know I'm making progress and I haven't felt this good about running...ever.

My coach told me the other day, "your excitement and happiness is more than enough payment for me to do what little I really do. You're the runner, I just make suggestions...."

Maybe he's right. After nearly 4 years, maybe I AM a runner...and that makes me happy.


Blogger Rudy Martinez said...

"maybe I AM a runner?"

There's no maybe ... you certainly are ... and that makes us ALL happy

July 30, 2008 9:06 AM  
Blogger Sparky said...

I just got your comment,SO nice to hear from you!

I will absolutely pass on your hugs to the girls. We'll raise a glass of peach sangria to you and your runner self!

Happy Happy Birthday.

just jen'

July 30, 2008 10:48 AM  
Blogger sauconRunner said...

Moe, I feel all those same feelings at times too. You are doing great with your running and should be very proud!

July 30, 2008 11:07 AM  
Blogger Frankie said...

I for one am very happy and proud that you have stuck with running. There for a time you had considerable doubt as to wether or not you were going to continue running. You once said the longest you have stuck with something was 2 years. Well here it is 4 years later and you are finally referring to yourself as a runner. Good for you Moe!

July 30, 2008 2:59 PM  
Blogger Stephen said...

no if's and's or maybe's about it. You are a runner! Maybe we'll get to run together someday. Well, at least if I get my rear back in gear again. :)

August 01, 2008 4:28 PM  

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