Moe, for better or worse

This blog used to be called "one year in the life of a short fat runner"; then it was called "Am I a runner? you decide." I've decided running isn't the thing I need to talk about'll come up for sure, but it's just one part of me, so I think I'll just call this blog: Moe, for better or worse.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Weathering the storm

Just a few moments ago, I glanced out my office window. A distant rumble perked up my ears and I saw an ominous sky outside. Just as the first raindrops fell, I realized I'd left my sunroof open...I grabbed my keys, bolted down the 4 flights of stairs and rushed to my car, to shut it before the rain really fell. As I ran back to the building, it started coming down and by the time I returned to my office, sheets of water were falling from the sky.

20 minutes's over. The sky is brightening and the wind and rain and thunder has dissipated.

Sometimes life is like that storm. Things build up and turn dark and start to rage and thunder, and you feel the rain and wind coming down on you and you go rushing for shelter. That shelter might be sleep or drink or a friend's kindness or running or merely crying till you can't anymore and your heart aches and your eyes burn.

The thing the storm outside my does pass. It might leave things wet and grey and shaken and windblown, but it does pass.

The sky is light grey and white now and I suppose the sun with come out again eventually today.

Same holds true for life.

You just have to weather the storm.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008



it's really tough to work on 4 hours disturbed sleep; I'm literally falling asleep while I'm typing.

anyone know if you can sleeprun? Because I need to get in a couple miles tonight but I don't honestly know how I'll manage then in the state I'm in right now.

If I crash into a tree you'll know why.

at least the weather has improved.


Tuesday, June 24, 2008


pretty much that covers my day today.


I'm grouchy and grumbly and irritable and not willing to make things better that I can and wishing I could change things that I can't. And blaming others for things that aren't their fault.

Plus, even though I've been told otherwise, I'm pretty sure I've upset a friend inadvertently. I've said I was sorry and I mean it, but my heart aches over what I said and moreover, that I still feel the way I do. I can be a hateful, selfish person. I don't like that about myself and try to keep it inside, but sometimes it comes out. My friend has forgiven me, but I haven't forgiven myself.

My boss just asked me to do something and I have no idea what she wants. hrumph. I was honest and emailed her back asking for a clarification...I hope that was a good move.

Did I mention I accidently clipped poor Miss Penny's ear when I was cutting the knots out of her fur the other day? By "clipped" I mean a HUGE gash and deep at the top of her ear where it meets her head. I am a bad bad dog owner...I couldn't feel more terrible.

Oh and the sky is black outside my window. I hate rain.


Monday, June 23, 2008

Caption this photo contest!

OK peeps, I sent some friends this photo and it was suggested it was ripe for a captioning contest!

Winner receives...well, I dunno. I'll have to think about.

Have fun (be kind!)

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Congrats, Mr P

My friend Kev ran his first marathon yesterday. He trained long and hard and well. He was diligent in his training and dedication. He got in his long runs and his short runs and everything in between. He was an inspiration to many of us on our running forum in his persistence and quiet determination.

His day didn't go quite as planned and he didn't finish in the time he hoped. But he ran his first marathon and that is a huge accomplishment.

Congratulations, Kevin. You did a great job and I'm so proud of you.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Back from Seattle

On my flight from Seattle the man next to me, an older man in shorts, t-shirt and ball cap, largely left me alone. I slept most of the way anyway, unsurprisingly given the hours I was keeping, but when our seatmate at the window got up to use the restroom, the older man, in the middle caught my ear. Besides some typical chit chat, my Canadian companion told me two jokes:

1) A man forgot his anniversary. His wife was upset and said if there isn't something shiny that can go from 0 to 220 in less than 10 seconds with a bow on it in the driveway in the morning, that's it, it's over. next morning, the woman goes outside and sees a box with a shiny red bow...she excitedly opens it and finds a bathroom scale.

2) Man and woman are working in their garden. The man looks over at his wife, who is weeding and says, honey, you've gained some weight, your backside is as wide as the BBQ now. The woman huffs and continues to weed, furiously. Man looks over at her and gets aroused. He says, honey, why don't we go inside? She says, if you think I'm gonna fire up the BBQ for one small weiner, you are wrong.

Apparently he thought these were appropriate to tell a strange woman on a plane.

I did laugh.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Live from Seattle...

ok, I should be in's after 1, I think, I've been up since 6:20 this morning, I ran a couple miles today with my incredibly funny friend Alex, who has had me laughing for 2 days straight, I walked around in 4" heels for 4 hours, never sitting down once, then we headed out for cocktails, then a party, then a Mariners' game (thank you, Ebsco Publishing, we had a lovely time!), then division open houses for drinks and food (mmm, smoked salmon)....but I wanted to at least post a hello and to say, I've been having fun here in Seattle.

I got to spend an evening with some friends from Kickrunners, K and T, who I just got to see in Madison and D, who I'd not met before, but who was AWESOME. Very funny and fun evening.

Also got to see K & T another night at T's mom's graduation party. That was also fun even if I curled up on the couch and fell fast asleep...what? I was sleepy!

The conference itself has been pretty good, although I'm trying to meet with vendors to see what products we might be missing as well as attend sessions and network. It's all a bit exhausting, esp since I'm also trying to get some work done on the if I've had a lot of time.

Overall, a good time though.

OK, off to bed for's too late to be up, even with the time change!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

First day of least for me

Today, I grabbed a sandwich from the cafe at work and ate at my desk. I got the same thing I get most days, chicken salad, extra lettuce and tomato, on a wrap, which I then dissect so that I only eat about half the wrap and all of the filling. Nothing unusual about it, at least for me.

I looked out the window of my office and saw the sky and the water. It's been unseasonably and unbearably hot here for the last few days and a haze has hung in the sky over the bay.

But the sky was bright and clear and the bay was lapis and sparkly and dotted with boats. A breeze was rustling the trees and the lines on the boats in the marina. Gulls were flying overhead taking in the sun and the sights.

I'd been working on my "strategic perspective" for my group all day. Truth be told, I've been working on it for a week, without much success, but I needed to have something done to show my boss today. Back to my window, eyes on my monitor, I didn't notice how lovely a day it was. But when I did...

I drove over to the beach after I finished my sandwich. I'd just thrown a pair of flipflops in the car this morning (divine intervention) and I had a half hour I could kill. I parked, changed my shoes, and walked down the board walk and onto the sand. Since I had neither a chair nor a towel, I opted to sit myself down on the sea wall. The sun was hot and bright, but the breeze was lovely. There were sunbathers out already and a few people down in the shallow lowtide water looking for shells or stones or untold treasures. A few runners and walkers passed behind me, alone or in small groups, but not so many as to be a distraction.

I called a friend who shares my love of the sea and we chatted about nothing important. I spent about 20 mins there, talking and getting some sun.

When I said, I should go, need to get back to work, he told me, you are having great day. I told him, you are right.

Today was my first day of summer.

Monday, June 09, 2008

God is a single blade of grass

We went to visit my parents this weekend, partly because we haven't seen them in a few weeks and partly because it's sweltering here and they have a pool.

We were sitting under the pergola, chatting and enjoying the shade and the breeze from the ceiling fan. Ma had abandoned her wig, and even her hat. Her head is covered in a soft fine fuzz of white hair, and while it will always be disconcerting for me to see her bald, she actually looks quite good that way.

She was talking about teaching, that she is going to half time next year, and about her students. She said they don't always understand that they will never be perfect, that nature is, even when it seems chaotic.

She said she tells them, if you ever want proof God exists, you only have to try to draw a hexagon. She can't draw a perfect hexagon, but bees build them everyday in their hives. Every one perfect, over and over and over again. Further proof...the single blade of grass that will push its way up through the black top on a paved road...a road that is strong enough to support trucks and cars and people, but can't resist a little green plant. So fragile a thing that a child can rip it from its roots, but so strong, it can make it way to the sunlight regardless of the obstacles.

There are prayers and miracles in everyday things. You just have to look for them.

Friday, June 06, 2008

Actual conversation...just for the halibut....

Friend: So the flounder I made last night was disappointing.

Me: Flounder is almost always disappointing. He was probably disappointed in himself when he realized he'd never be a salmon or a tuna. Or even a haddock...just a lowly, bottom skimming flat fish with a misshapen head.

Friend: But halibut is so much better, and they’re flat fish with both eyes on the same side too!

Me: At least Halibut is the biggest flat fish. It's got that going for it.

Is there any question that my friends are as weird as me?

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Wellness Evaluation Day...or what not to complete 10 days after Madison

We got an email this morning from corporate that the wellness evaluation survey was up and running. Since you can get a discount on your insurance by doing it, and there's a chance to win a year's free health insurance coverage, I thought, hell, it's 10 mins. I can spend the company's time to fill it out.


'cept when they ask the question, have you had a little too much to drink at any time in the last 4 weeks...I clicked yes.

Then they ask...what is the most drink yo've had on any one day...umm, let's see...highest amount is 5+, um...well there was Friday night in then Sunday night in again.

have you had a drink in the morning just to take the edge off or to deal with a hangover? OH! good! I didn't take some people's advice about hair of the dog! Click NO.

With regards to your drinking habits, do you think that 1) they are under control; 2) you don't drink or stopped drinking completely; 3) you need to evaluate them and make changes; 4) you have evaluated them and will make changes soon; 5) you have made changes and are working to keep those as part of your routine.
ummmm....which one means, if I just drank more often, one beer wouldn't make me loopy? Ok, check 1) under control.

Drinking is under control...but when they asked about my dairy consumption, well, damn you cheese curds!!!!